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Category Archives: Aging

What’s the greatest gift your mother ever gave you?

Written on August 19, 2010 by Thom Cooper in Aging

By Bob Kueppers

The other day I stumbled across a website that really got to me that asked the reader to submit the greatest gift their mother ever gave them. I’m very fortunate to have my mother with me as many of my friends have lost a parent. Life always seems to get in the way and I never have really told my mother how much she means to me (other then the standard “I love you”). When I read some excerpts from the story, I felt compelled to let my mother know what her greatest gift to me has been. I hear a lot of stories from our clients whose parents are in a nursing home and suffering from dementia or Alzheimer’s and it makes me think that you can never know what the future will hold and how important it is to make time for a loved one no mater how hectic life may get. So with that I share with you what I wrote my mother and some of the excerpts others have wrote theirs.

I wanted you to know the greatest gift you ever gave me was a sense of humor. Looking back on my childhood, the thing that really stands out is how much you made me laugh. I never realized it till now but all my close friends have to meet the requirement of making me laugh otherwise I don’t want them around. As I move through life and things change, it’s the one thing about myself that will always remain consistent and I’m so grateful for it. Even though we don’t talk all the time and sometimes weeks go by with out contacting you, each time I laugh, you’re with me.
-Bob Kueppers

My mother’s greatest gift came after she was gone. She used a certain perfume that was her signature fragrance, and she hoarded bottles of it, since it was difficult to find. When she was down to her last two, she refused to use it anymore. I begged her to just enjoy it, but she didn’t listen. When she passed away, we found the two bottles of perfume. She probably intended to leave one for me and one for my sister. Now, every time I smell that scent, Mom is with me.
Ellen Ogintz
Monroe Township, New Jersey

Memories. My mother now suffers from Parkinson’s disease and is mentally and physically incapacitated. I am so grateful for the simple but meaningful times we shared when I was growing up, from making cupcakes for my father’s birthday when I was five to playing dress-up in her too-big clothes and donning her frosted, 1970s wigs. Every little detail that is stamped in my memory helps me smile and appreciate the incredible mother she is and the life she gave me.
Jennifer Kopec-McLaughlin
Mountain Top, Pennsylvania

Her laugh. My mother and I have the same big, boisterous laugh that people can hear rooms away. There’s no mistaking whether or not we think something is funny, and it has gotten me in trouble more than once. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Katy Kreider
Greenville, North Carolina

Choosing the Right Type of Care For Your Parent

Written on August 4, 2010 by Thom Cooper in Aging, Estate Planning, Health, Nursing Home Planning

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By Daneen Cline

You have been noticing changes in your mother’s behavior that have you concerned. You have started calling her a few times a day, just to make sure she is ok. You have increased your visits from once a week to every other day because you noticed that the house isn’t in the same state of cleanliness it has always been and that personal hygiene seems to be slipping as well. You know that something needs to be done about this but you have no idea what to do. Does this sound familiar? Most of us will face this situation with our parents and very few of us will know how to handle it. How do you decide what is the right amount of assistance? Maybe having someone stop in every day for a couple of hours to assist with basic housekeeping and personal care is enough, or maybe an Assisted Living Facility is the best place for mom to be. And how can you even broach this subject with your mother, who has always been very independent? And finally, can your mother afford to pay for the care she needs?

We are fortunate because we have the Internet at our disposal to help with the answers to all these questions. We type a few key words into our favorite search engine and are rewarded with hundreds of websites that will assist us with this difficult decision. Deciding which website to visit is almost as daunting as the problem that sent you to the Internet for the information. You must be aware that some information on the Internet are not telling the whole story – for this, you should consider consulting an elder law attorney.

The following websites are ones that I have used often and found helpful. They cover a variety of topics including the types of care available, government agencies and the programs they offer, and an explanation of the different types of residential settings for seniors.

http://www.homecareohio.org/

http://www.ohioaging.org/

http://aging.ohio.gov/services/ombudsman/regional.aspx

http://www.proseniors.org/

For more information about programs that may be available to your parent and options to pay for them, contact our office.

Should I be Paid to Care for My Parents?

Written on July 26, 2010 by Thom Cooper in Aging, Elder Law, Health, Medicaid, Planning

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By Attorney Elizabeth Durnell

Have you ever considered paying your children to care for you? Have you ever considered being paid to care for your parents?

There is a new trend in Nursing Home Medicaid planning, in which parents pay their children to care for them, even after they enter a Nursing Home.

In 2009, the Wall Street Journal published an article by Victoria E. Knight entitled “Relative Can Be Paid To Look After Elderly”. Following is an exerpt from that article:

Caring for a family member is a responsibility many people bear. It can also be a source of income.

So-called “caregiver agreements” — formal contracts under which relatives are hired to care for elderly family members — have been around for a while. But with the economic downturn, more families may be open to entering into such arrangements, some attorneys and caregiver advocates say.

Financial transfers made under a caregiver agreement generally aren’t considered gifts, an important consideration if an elderly person later hopes to qualify for Medicaid, the joint federal/state program that covers nursing-home care. The contracts can also provide assurances to other family members about the cost and quality of care being delivered and reward caregivers for the long hours they put in. The agreements need to be carefully crafted, and there are tax consequences.

To an aging parent, the idea of being cared for by a trusted family member may be appealing. And for those who want to stay in their own homes, or need to because they can’t sell their property to fund entry into a continuing-care retirement community, hiring a relative can be a money-saving strategy.

For adult children who have more time to devote to mom or dad, such arrangements can provide a modest source of income — or at least cover expenses they incur in providing care — at a time when many families are struggling.

In recent years, caregiver agreements have grown in popularity as a Medicaid planning tool because they can reduce the size of an estate, according to Louis Jay Ulman, a senior principal at Offit Kurman, a law firm with offices in the Baltimore-Washington corridor. That’s because a rule change extended the look-back period for making gifts to family members to five years from three.

If properly set up, transfers made under a caregiver agreement aren’t considered gifts but rather compensation because they are payments made in return for a service, lawyers say.

Please note the beginning of the last paragraph: “If properly set up.” There are many specific and complex legal requirements to set up these arrangements. If done incorrectly, it could cost you and your family time, money and added risk that your loved one will not qualify for benefits as an improper transfer. If you are interested in learning more about caregiver agreements, it is imperative you contact an Elder Law Attorney.

Keep yourself organized: How to Deal with a Healthcare Crisis

Written on July 6, 2010 by Thom Cooper in Aging, Health, Important Documents, Nursing Home Planning, Planning

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By Jennifer Morningstar

Webster’s definition of organize is “to arrange by systematic planning and united effort”. I like to think that having a system and making an effort helps keep my cases organized. And it helps when our clients think the same way. I realize that many times Mom, Dad or your spouse didn’t tell you where they keep their important documents, their bills, or even their identification. So when it comes time to help them out in a crisis, you are now in the middle of “Hide and Seek”.

In planning ahead, it is always a good idea to let a loved one know where you keep your ‘stuff’. There are several documents that you will need in a time of crisis, so why not be prepared now and save yourself the aggravation; you will already have enough to worry about.

Here are some items that you may need to get your hands on: Social Security cards, health Insurance cards, military discharge records, deeds to properties, cemetery lot records, stock certificates, vehicle titles, bank statements, life insurance policies, tax returns, and any and all legal documents that have been created.

Of course, there will always be that one thing that is needed that you cannot find, but it will make life easier on yourself if you start getting this information in a location that can be found. It’s pretty hard to win the game of Hide-and-Seek if you don’t’ even know where to start looking.

Worried about taking care of aging parents?

Written on June 29, 2010 by Thom Cooper in Aging, Elder Law, Health, Medicaid, Medicare, Nursing Home Planning, Planning, Video

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Over half of all Americans say they worry about taking care of their aging parents. Katie Couric says both parties should sit down and have an honest talk about the future.

Navigating Medicare and Medicaid options are mind-numbing and helping our parents live out their lives can be completely overwhelming. Don’t bare the financial burden of your parents medical expenses. A consultation with an Elder Law attorney can help you and your parents plan for the future.

You Don’t Have to Spend Down Your Life Savings to Pay for a Nursing Home

Written on June 17, 2010 by Thom Cooper in Aging, Asset Protection, Medicaid, Nursing Home Planning, Planning

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By Attorney Elizabeth Durnell

Screen shot 2009-12-17 at 1.27.42 PM A few weeks ago, Judy and Gary came into the office to discuss how to pay the nursing home bill they are anticipating for Judy’s father, George. George has been slowing down and can no longer be cared for at home. George’ doctor is recommending they place him in a nursing home. George’s estate is close to $300,000, and he worked a lifetime to build it. He wants it to go to his family, not the State of Ohio.

Here’s the problem: Judy and Gary understand that an individual must have less than $1500 in assets to have their benefits paid. Judy and Gary are worried that they must spend down all of George’s money for his care before Medicaid will begin to pay the bill, or they must keep George at home until all of his money is spent.

This is a common misconception in nursing home planning: you have to spend all your money before Medicaid will pay.

The main focus of my work at Cooper Elder Law involves nursing home planning. I often meet with the families of clients who will need to make gifts in order to qualify for Medicaid benefits and share the same worries as Judy and Gary.

The good news is, there is hope for these families. When a person makes a gift during the “look-back period,” which is the five years before a person is admitted to a nursing home, the person is placed on a Restricted Medicaid Coverage Period. During the Restricted Period, Medicaid will not pay for the person’s room and board at the nursing home. So, for George, this does not mean that he can’t live in a nursing home, it only means that he must pay privately for his care until the Restricted Period is over.

The Restricted Medicaid Period does not mean that you must pay for all expenses out of your pocket. Medicaid may cover services such as emergency room visits, ambulance services, hospital stays, surgery and anesthesia, if medically necessary. Medicaid may also pay for medical equipment such as wheelchairs, hospital beds, orthotics and prosthetics, diabetic supplies, canes, walkers and crutches, lifts, colostomy supplies and oxygen supplies. Finally, although there are some limitations, the following services are available as well: doctors visits, lab testing and x-rays, occupational therapy, speech therapy, physical therapy and hearing services. Prescription drug coverage may also be provided by Medicare Part D.

If you or a loved one develops a condition that may mean a nursing home is in your future, you should consult with an elder law attorney who can help you understand the rules that apply to Medicaid. This is not a good choice for do-it-yourself. You need to understand the complex rules that Medicaid has developed in order to protect the work of a lifetime.

Seniors may feel financial pinch

Written on June 2, 2010 by Thom Cooper in Aging, Estate Planning

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By CHERYL S. SPLAIN News Editor

Tax_Debt_Small CENTERBURG — The difficult financial times experienced over the last two years have affected virtually everyone in one way or another, and seniors are no exception. For some seniors, however, the financial pinch could become a little tighter.

For seniors who owe federal debts, the U.S. Treasury is allowed to withhold benefits from Social Security checks or disability payments. Under the 2008 Farm Bill, these withholds have become easier because the statute of limitations for most of these debts has been eliminated. The exception is for unpaid income taxes, where the limit is still 10 years.

“Before, there was a 10- year limit on how far Social Security could go back and collect debts,” said C enter- burg attorney Tom Cooper. “Now, up to 15 percent of the person’s Social Security check can be taken, but [the check can] never go below $750 a month.”

For example, he said, if a person’s Social Security check is $850 a month, the lesser of 15 percent of the

$850 ($127.50) or $100 ($850 minus the $750 threshold) can be withheld.

Unpaid student loans, small business loans, income tax and farm debt all can be withheld from a senior’s check. Historically, most of this type of debt was recovered by withholding seniors’ income tax refunds. In 2008, however, $420 million — about 10 percent — was collected from money withheld from Social Security benefits, compared to 1 1/2 percent in 2001.

“What you think is, who wouldn’t want people with debt to Pay it back? But they don’t realize what they are doing when they turn people lose with computers and form letters … it becomes a different situation,” said Cooper. “They estimate it will save the government a fair amount, but I wish there was a different way to do it.”

Cooper said that it is tough enough for a senior on a fixed income to have money withheld from his or her check, especially if health problems compound the financial picture, but perhaps a bigger worry is if money is withheld by mistake.

“If you owe it, that’s a hard

enough problem,” he said. “The big thing is, if it’s a mistake, it’s a hard problem to deal with.

“These things take years to work through,” he said. “You write letters and they go nowhere. You can spend loads of money on legal fees, even if you are right.

“I have heard stories of people who spent small fortunes to get back very little; usually they are doing it on principle,” he added. “These things happened 30 to 40

years ago, and you are not remembering so well what happened. Things are not exactly crystal clear. It can be confusing if the ink has faded.”

Cooper said there is nothing seniors can do to prevent money being withheld.

“You have to deal with it, and maybe if [seniors] get mad enough they can get it fixed,” he said. “I think there’s going to be a lot of headaches and heartaches in this thing.”

Gracious Dependence: Do We Have What It Takes?

Written on June 1, 2010 by Thom Cooper in Aging, Elder Law, Health, Nursing Home Planning, Planning

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by guest blogger Gail McConnon

Every year medical science comes up with new ways to help us live longer – for good or not so much. We seem to think that’s what we want, don’t we?

But what are we really getting in the bargain for longer life . . and do we have what it takes to graciously accept what we get?

Where am I heading, you ask? I’m inviting you for a short stroll down the road of scientifically-assisted longevity, and the dependence that’s bound to follow . . upon family . . friends . . strangers.

I’m asking you to take a quick look at how “prepared” you are to become dependent on others to care for you while you’re doing all that aging through all the extra years you asked science to give you. You certainly don’t think extra time comes without a price?!

And even if you don’t buy into the scientific enhancement of your years, you know you can’t escape the indulgent lifestyle you’ve been leading all these years.

Let’s face it: If science doesn’t kill you, your habits most likely will.

In any case, chances are fairly good that few of us will make it to the end of our years as the independent creatures we see ourselves to be. Most of us are going to end up dependent – to some degree or other – on the good will and caring of someone else.

Start Getting Acquainted With Dependence

Be it short of long term . . assisted living . . LTC . . with family involvement or not . .it’s going to behoove us to get acquainted the better side of dependence.

What’s that?! What better side?! I’m sorry for the confusion. What I’m saying is that we’ll be doing ourselves a real favor by learning to open the gifts of gracious dependence (i.e., discovering the grace to be gained in being dependent on others).

Okay, you think I’m loopy, right? That’s fair. After all, everything up through life’s first half is focused on you as an individual . . standing on your own two feet . . making a name for yourself . . being in total control.

Now, here I am, telling you the real grace to be gained in life’s second half comes from the inside.

Let’s face it: Unplanned and unplanned for things happen as we get older.

The lifestyles we flaunted up till now are starting to turn on us.

The multitude of stresses we swallowed as we climbed that corporate or professional ladder . . and raised families . . and piled our plates higher and higher with the stuff we had no business biting into a few years back . . have been waiting patiently all this time to teach us the lessons we pretended we’d never have to learn.

Let’s be honest with ourselves, though. Those lessons are starting to come home. And some of us – or at least some of our middle-aged friends and family members – are learning hard lessons as bodies and finances and marriages and all the rest start to break down.

And even though we watched as our parents aged through life’s second half, we kept believing we were immune. Or, maybe we just kept wishing we were immune.

While it is never too early to be prepared, putting things off can have very unintended results that can cause serious anxiety, family feuds, and significant monetary losses. Seek out the advice from an Elder Law Attorney today and make sure your goals and your plan are in sync so you can rest assured that you are prepared!

Taking Care of Your Parents: The Challenges of the Sandwich Generation

Written on May 20, 2010 by Thom Cooper in Aging, Planning

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by Kathy Cooper

Screen shot 2010-05-20 at 10.47.36 AM I recently read an article in Forbes that talked about the Sandwich Generation, you know, having older parents to take care of while you are still caring for your own children. Thom and I have lived in an extended family most of our lives, so this is a scenario we know well. It is challenging to have to support your parents, Forbes called it “parenting your parents”. Somehow we all think that our parents will be strong and independent forever. Obviously, this could not be further from the truth. There are some times that really stand out … maybe you can relate:

There was the time that Mildred, Thom’s grandmother, got interested in the sweepstakes. We found out when we started to receive a bunch of magazine subscriptions to magazines that we would never buy.
Then there was the time that Arlene, Thom’s mother, ran into the backhoe that was parked along the side of the road. Her vision was not good and she refused to wear her glasses.
More recently, my mother bought about a case of Scrubbing Bubbles – not all at once, but two or three at a time. She would buy them each time she went to the store, thinking that we really needed Scrubbing Bubbles. We ended up giving them to friends, family and co-workers because we could not use that many in a hundred years!

If you have not yet had these experiences, believe me, you will. What can you learn from this? The Forbes article said it best “planning ahead is key to good eldercare”. Make sure that you have worked with an elder law attorney to get your parents’ affairs in order, long before you have to face the challenges of the Sandwich Generation.

Raise The Death Benefit?

Written on April 19, 2010 by Thom Cooper in Aging

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by guest blogger John Aebi
A bill has been introduced to increase the social security death benefit:

From The Sun of San Bernardino, CA:

Americans who lose a spouse would get more money from Social Security under a bill introduced by Rep. Joe Baca, but critics worry the plan would put more pressure on an entitlement system already on the verge of going broke.

When a Social Security recipient dies, their surviving spouse receives a one-time payment of $255, but they miss out on their spouse’s regular Social Security check for that month.
Baca, D-San Bernardino, wants to change that, giving surviving spouses a larger “death payment” and a check for the deceased’s final days. …
Baca’s bill – called the Benefit Adjustment of Social Security Income Compensation, or BASIC – calls for increasing the size of the death payment from $255 to 47 percent of the deceased person’s typical monthly Social Security income, with $255 as the minimum payment.
The bill also calls for paying Social Security benefits for each day – not just each whole month – a recipient lives. At present, Baca’s office said, the spouse of a Social Security beneficiary who dies May 15 will not receive their spouse’s check for May. Baca’s plan would send a check for half the month, on top of the death payment.

I doubt whether this bill has a chance of passing in this economic climate but we need to do something about the death benefit – either abolish it or make it more meaningful. At the moment, it probably costs about as much to administer it as it does to actually pay the benefits. If we are going to have a death benefit that it ought to be several times the Primary Insurance Amount (PIA), that is the monthly amount paid to the primary beneficiary on an account. The present amount ($255.00) just isn’t very helpful and costs too much to administer.